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BREAKING FREE FROM THE OLD SELF

October 10, 2020 No Comments

I’m pretty sure that throughout our lives, we’ve met different kinds of people who have inspired us, taught us a lesson, gave us joy and love, taught us humility, made us angry, made us sad or made us wonder. We’ve met people who have the drive, visionaries, dreamers, hard-working people, people who excel in whatever they do, and honest ones. Some are on the opposite spectrum, like those who are dishonest, cynical, lazy, complacent, abusive, and selfish. For some of us, we have experienced being on both sides of the spectrum. I certainly have.

There have been specific points in my life that I was cynical, angry, jealous, dishonest, complacent, selfish. I had consistently fed my subconscious mind with negative thoughts that manifested in my whole being. I once remember discussing with my sister about the financial difficulty we were facing with our business. I was so upset that I blamed it on everything and everyone but myself. The conversation was rapidly turning into an argument. I turned my back to avoid the issue instead of resolving it because I knew it would turn sour. As I was about to go up the stairs, my sister stopped me and said something I would not forget. She told me to stop being negative because it affects our business. She further said that I must always think of positive thoughts to bring in good vibes.

It took a while for me to change. What was planted in my subconscious for a long time has deep roots. It’s like when we are taking the weeds out from our garden. We know that it’s always hard to pull out the weeds that are deeply rooted and overgrown. Over time, my behaviour and attitude have become unbearable to the people around me and myself. I also recognized that I was not thriving, and it made me feel unfulfilled.

I later realized that my stagnation and negativity are by-products of two factors: staying in the COMFORT ZONE and my EGO. I have been lingering too long in a level of my life and career that I didn’t want to change because I know deep inside that to change means I have to experience some discomfort. To change means that I have to learn something new, which would require time, effort and attention.

I had a big EGO, too. But what I discovered is that I was trying to hide my inadequacy with my ego. I was arrogant enough not to acknowledge my mistakes. I was not asking for help or advice, thinking that I would be deemed stupid and lacking in skills. My ego was my mask. A mask that hid my true self – a scared person, hurting, desperately needing help.

Many of us wear masks every day (and I’m not talking about facemasks here). We don’t show our real self for fear of being seen as weak or inadequate, and may not be accepted for who we are. Don’t get me wrong – some situations warrant the wearing of our masks temporarily. But wearing our masks for a long time can be suffocating. There will come a time when we need to get a whiff of fresh air. We need to set aside our ego to open doors for us to grow. We need to come to a realization and awareness that things need to change for us to grow. And that change must start with ourselves.

It took humility and courage to recognize that I have to change my story to change my life. I made a conscious decision to change, which led me to the other side of the spectrum – I became more positive, joyous, grateful, honest, kind, compassionate, driven, confident, calm and energetic. It was not an easy shift. It involved a lot of discipline on my part first to change my mindset. I was comfortable with my old habits and attitudes, even if they don’t serve me well. But with the change came success at work and business, peace at home, calmness amid challenges, and I attracted successful people in my life. My purpose and goals became more precise and attainable. It also opened the opportunity for me to become a coach to inspire and motivate others to discover their full potential.

In the process of breaking free from my old self, I went through these significant steps towards a transformation:

DEVELOP A NEW MINDSET. In a magazine, I once read that where we live every day is not in a physical address, but instead in that space between our ears, our brains. Our brain houses our mind, and the mind is the brain in action. Our mind is composed of our subconscious mind and conscious mind. The subconscious mind is like a garden – whatever you plant in there, it will grow. Eventually, our subconscious dictates our conscious mind and influences our behaviours, reactions, character and personality traits. Isn’t it scary that if we continually harbour negativity in our subconscious, that those thoughts eventually influence our personality? So if your subconscious is full of weeds (meaning negative thoughts), you have to remove these weeds and consistently plant flowers (positive thoughts). I always and diligently do my prayer of gratitude, meditations and practice self-affirmations each day, at the first hour upon waking up. I also listen to motivational speakers on youtube and podcasts. Why do it on the first hour upon waking up? Because our mind is in the Theta Phase when our brain produces waves that experts believe are important for processing information and creating memories. So, when we take care of our thoughts first thing in the morning, we are also taking care of how we will respond to different situations during the day and take control of our future. A healthy mind creates a healthy life.
MOVE OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE AND MANAGE YOUR EGO. As I have mentioned above, staying in my comfort zone and having a big ego brought me stagnation. Take courage and take the first step out of your comfort zone. It may be as simple as going for a 30-minute walk each day to be healthier. Or it may be taking courses to develop a new skill. Condition your mind and focus on the result. It will help you persevere and grow. Also, manage your ego and be honest with yourself. Remove the mask and practice authenticity. The more you hold on to a big ego, the longer you are in stagnation. Humility and gratitude allow one to grow. Think of them as fertilizers to the beautiful garden you’re trying to cultivate in your subconscious mind. Assess yourself and identify areas where you need help to flourish. This may involve seeking advice from well-meaning friends or family members, collaborating with colleagues or even getting a coach or a mentor.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO INSPIRE YOU TO BE BETTER. Nothing can stunt growth faster than being in a circle of negative people. Have you experienced sharing your dreams or a recent success story to somebody you consider a friend and the first thing they say is, “I don’t think that will work.” or “You don’t have what it takes to achieve that.” or “Are you sure that it’s because of your work that it is successful?”. How did you feel when you heard these words? Painful, right? Some people will not be happy to see you flourish, and by getting out of your comfort zone, you are making them uncomfortable. You are part of their comfort zone that you are disrupting it when you decide to better yourself. When you notice that your circle is not inspiring you, have the courage to get out. Surround yourself with people who have the drive to succeed, the purpose of inspiring others, the intention to make this world a better place to live. You may ask, “Where do I find these people?”. Here’s what I can say based on my experience – the moment you change your mindset and develop higher self-worth and purpose, you will attract people that are at the same or higher level than you are. The universe works that way. Whatever we focus on, that’s where the energy flows (Tony Robbins).

Exciting opportunities await those who dare to break free from the old, those who adapt positivity in their lives, those who are always grateful for every blessing, those generous in giving of themselves, and those whose faith remains strong.

YOU ARE THAT PERSON. I believe in you.

Balancing Act

September 25, 2020 No Comments

Have you ever wished that you can clone yourself or have multiple arms and hands to finish all the tasks in front of you?

Or sometimes hear yourself yell out to your demanding kids, “I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS!!!”

Or sometimes, you just break down and cry because of frustration and being tired of just giving in to all the demands in your life?

There are too many things to do, but too little time. There’s work, kids to take care of, cook breakfast, what’s for dinner, grocery shopping, after school activities, clean the house, walk the dog, care for elderlies, demands of partners, to-do lists, etc. The list goes on depending on your environment. Often, our only rest is bedtime (for some, it’s even cut short to accommodate other tasks!).

I’m a single mom of a 14-year-old amazing girl, works in a highly competitive pharmaceutical industry, business owner, executive and leadership coach, a volunteer community leader, a daughter to elderly parents, a sister, a friend, a colleague. You can imagine how full my plate is! A lot of my friends are asking me how I manage it all. And I tell them it’s not easy! I must go through a lot of challenges to be able to find balance in what I do.

I remember a couple of years ago when my daughter Ella and I were having this chat while doing our nightly facial care ritual. That was a stressful period in my life – dealing with our business’s financial difficulties, being new in my job, and travelling quite often for work. On top of that, I have my mommy duties and make sure that everything is okay. I apologized to her that night for being so busy and having little time with her. I asked her what I can do better? Her reply struck me, and it made an indelible imprint in my being. She said, “Mom, I wish you wouldn’t get mad at little things. You are an angry person.” When she said those words, I saw the pain and sadness in her eyes. I was speechless. It broke my heart seeing her unhappy. I felt I had failed her. I hugged her tightly and made a promise to change. I realized that in my pursuit to give my family a better and comfortable life, I forgot to make my daughter a priority and clouded my purpose by doing many things at once. I realized that I don’t want her to think that being an angry person is the norm. I realized that I’m not a good role model for her. I realized that what’s most important is for me to come home to my daughter – a loving mom who can give my undivided attention to her, a listening ear whom she can confide her fears and dreams, a presence that she can enjoy knowing that I’m all hers at that moment.

Most of us career-oriented individuals suffer from a lack of balance in our daily life. With so many things to juggle, we often go through our day, trying to accomplish the tasks at hand with little sense of fulfilment and purpose. The sad part is we also put ourselves and our well-being at the bottom of our to-do list. We comply with so many demands that we fail to notice that our cup becomes empty and depleted. This juggling act becomes a habit that we function like robots. We become stressed, anxious, discouraged, angry, depressed and disappointed. And it’s not only ourselves we are hurting; we are also hurting the people we love.

Those words from Ella sounded like an alarm bell to me. I consciously decided to change and made several choices to find balance in my life. The change has to start with me. There are three critical changes or actions I made that allowed me to find the balance I was seeking, and these you can easily apply in your life if you are facing challenges finding the right balance:

CONNECT WITH YOUR GOAL, EVERY DAY. Each of us has goals in life. Some are small goals, and some are big goals. As we journey through life, it may change from one stage of life to another. For a young, fresh out-of-university person, the goal could be to find the ideal job. For parents, their goal might be to raise their kids in a comfortable life and help them attain a good education. And for older people, their goals might be to retire with a certain amount of money to give them a comfortable retirement. Some goals are small and often work towards the attainment of a bigger purpose. Like, somebody whose goal is to learn how to budget in the next few months to save money for a grand vacation (whew! when this pandemic is over for sure!). Whatever our goal is, we have to be laser-focused and be connected daily with it until it comes to fruition. When we know it by heart, we can devise a strategy or action plan geared towards its fulfilment. It is also easy for us to set aside the distractions that come. Which now leads me to my second point, and that is to:

LEARN PRIORITY MANAGEMENT. We often hear experts tell us about time management. But here is what I learned from my coach – we cannot manage time, but we can manage our priorities. So true. For who can say, “I’m learning time management, and today I was able to hold back the hours and finished all my tasks!”? That would be an out-of-this-world phenomenon! Instead, what we can do is learn how to manage our priorities. Every day, I have my action list (or to-do list), and I rank the items based on how they will contribute towards my goal and their urgency. Whatever ranks high gets more of my time and attention. Whatever ranks low must wait or maybe even be delegated to others. For example, if cleaning the bathroom sink is in my list but then ranked low in my priorities for the day or the week, I ask my daughter to do the task instead. This delegation takes off another thing to do on my list. It gives me more time to spend on more critical tasks and lessens my stress. Also, my daughter learns household chores and responsibility.

RESPECT YOUR YOURSELF AND LEARN TO SAY “NO.” How many of us are suffering from Superwoman or Superman Syndrome? While the term pleases our ears it’s not just possible without sacrificing a lot of ourselves. Women are more prone to the Superwoman Syndrome because it’s in our psyche that we are multitasking experts. We pile up a laundry basket of things to do and think we can accomplish them all. Over time, we complain about how tired and stressed we are. We become emotional and angry and throw our frustrations to the people around us. Here’s what we forgot to acknowledge, even superheroes need sidekicks. Remember how Superman only responds to life-threatening situations? The rest goes to the police! There will come a time when your body will say enough is enough, and you must respect it. Give it a rest. Take a deep breath. Rest your mind and empty it of unnecessary thoughts. Many external factors demand our attention – whether it be from our family, friends, colleagues – and if the matter is not urgent, and we have first to rest, we must learn how to say “No” lovingly and respectfully. When we are recharged and happy, then we can give them our attention entirely. When we force ourselves to give in to these demands during the times we are stressed and frustrated, they will not be enjoying our presence. Who would like to spend time with a grumpy person anyway?

Lastly, to help me manage my priorities and remind me to take small steps towards my goals every day, in front of my desk is a sticky note wherein I wrote, “Is what you’re doing right now contributing towards your goal?” Every time I look at the message, it stops me from doing trivial tasks and gets me focused on what’s necessary. Finding balance comes in different shapes or forms for each one of us. But all of us must start somewhere and get better at it. Instead of juggling, we can balance like a gymnast on a high beam.

If you are on a quest for a better version of yourself, let’s connect. Visit my website at www.coachedbyjoy.com and send me a message at info@coachedbyjoy.com. You can also message me on my FB and Instagram page, Coached By Joy.

A coach is your ally. A coach is your strategist. A coach is committed to your success.

HONEST AND BRAVE CONVERSATIONS

September 19, 2020 No Comments

Have you experienced being told to shut up when you were a kid?

Have you been in situations where your ideas have been pushed to the side and criticized?

Have you been in discussions that eventually turned to arguments?

Most of us have experienced being in these situations and based on how we reacted may have contributed to how we handle difficult moments in our present life. The negative feelings these experiences created make people run away from issues and problems rather than facing them head-on. It further prevents us from being open and honest with how we feel. We become evasive, and then it becomes comfortable for us to keep quiet. But in our silence, there’s a raging battle in our minds why we did not take the stand, why we did not voice out our opinions, why we did not dare to have “that” conversation.

Last week, a good friend told me that she had an open and honest conversation with a friend who is also a business competitor. Months before this conversation, my friend has been uneasy about being part of an organization where her close friend (and competitor) is also an active member. She does not want their friendship to suffer, so she took the courage to speak with her competitor friend and clear whatever assumptions they have in their minds. They had a good conversation, and each one was open and honest. They listened, respected each other, and they did not argue. Now, both are willing to stay with the organization, and they carved non-competing positions for both of them. My friend gained peace of mind and a stronger friendship out of bravely facing the issue.

I sometimes struggle to be forthright in conversations, especially those that entail correcting a mistake or giving opinions. I find that it drains so much of my energy. There are several instances where I chose to turn my back on issues that need to be resolved or engage myself in heated arguments, just because I need to get my point across.

Being honest in conversations does not necessarily mean that one must be rude and argumentative. Over time, I found out that the key to having a productive, respectful and honest dialogue or conversation is to listen and be open-minded. Once I started to listen intently and developed a mindset of respecting other people’s opinions and beliefs, I noticed that I become less and less argumentative. Also, solutions to problems quickly come, and ideas flourish because I welcomed them with openness.

Now, when faced with difficult situations, I do the following:

REFLECT ON THE SITUATION BEFORE ACTING. I gauge the situation or problem first – whether there’s an urgency to resolve it, whether it is worthwhile to fix it, whether the other party is open to having a respectful dialogue. I also check on my emotions before engaging in a conversation. If my feelings are high or if I’m stressed, I’ll wait for me to stabilize before I start “the” conversation. Having a stable emotion also creates a clear mind. My coach also once told me that certain situations are worth turning our backs from, requiring a lot of maturity and wisdom. This advice is especially true when we know that the other party is immature and always engages in heated arguments. Situations like this take time to resolve, and it may require you to take the higher road.

VISUALIZE THE DESIRED OUTCOME. I usually play in my mind how the conversation will sound like, what words I will use, the possible reactions and where the exchange will occur. It’s similar to role-playing. This practice helps me prepare and be confident, and at the same time, minimizes mistakes and heated conversations because I have chosen the right words to say, words that will convey the message and yet will not disrespect the listener. I am a firm believer in how powerful our minds are, what we conceive in it and believe, we achieve (Napoleon Hill).

BE PREPARED TO LISTEN, REALLY LISTEN. I’m guilty of sometimes interrupting when someone is speaking and trying to get their points across. This behavior usually happens when I don’t listen intently, and instead, my mind is busy preparing what I will say next. What’s ironic is that I find this behavior offensive when done to me. And I know that when I interrupt, I don’t necessarily listen to the other person’s point. Listening is difficult but essential if our goal is to resolve, create harmony and maintain relations. It is easy to talk than to listen sincerely. Meditation can help beforehand as this helps clear your mind of the traffic. When you feel like you are about to interrupt, take a deep breath and hold your tongue until the person is finished talking. When you notice your mind is drifting when somebody is talking, make a conscious effort to “come back” and focus on the other person’s message. Validate your understanding by asking questions like “If I hear you correctly, what you mean to say is this…” or “My understanding of what you just said is…, am I right?” Validation also sends a message of respect to the other person. When it’s time for you to speak, do it with a moderate and friendly tone. Speak at a pace that you will be better understood.

Finally, come to a mutually acceptable resolution. When we are not busy thinking who wins in the dialogue, and we start to give importance to respectfully resolving issues, then everybody comes out a winner!

If you like what you just learned and is looking to further your skills – in your career, in leadership, communication, and selling – let’s connect! Please send me a note at info@coachedbyjoy.com or follow me on Facebook and Instagram at Coached By Joy.

A coach is your strategist. A coach is your ally. A coach is committed to your success.

THE PATH TO SELF-WORTH

September 9, 2020 No Comments

It was a long and arduous journey for me. The quest for higher self-worth is not as easy as one might think. When we take the time to look around us, we will notice how each person’s definition os self-worth varies. Some value what other people think of them; others believe that it is based on how much they have (or don’t have) in their bank accounts. Some will say that their past made them who they are. Others value the material things they acquire to prove their worth to the world. Self-worth is like building a house – do you build it on sand or build your home on solid ground?

I remember growing up in a conservative Filipino household. I would always hear the words “What would people say if you do this?” or “You should get your grades up so that you will be at par with your cousins” or “Just follow what others will normally do.”

I grew up in a culture where young kids are prohibited from voicing out their opinion in conversations; where finishing school with a degree has been instilled in young minds that’s it’s their only way out of poverty; where those who dress well are considered wealthy and respected. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all negative growing up. I had my share of childhood fun like Sunday picnics at the beach, playing with my friends the whole day on weekends and summer breaks, hanging out at the mall with friends, etc. However, there’s that pervasive atmosphere of having a limited identity, a little voice and limited involvement in the decision-making process.

I grew up trying to hide most of my feelings and mistakes for fear of my parents getting angry, fear of being perceived as weak and be rejected, for fear of being judged. I became very conscious of what other people will say. Even with limited resources, I tried my best to look well on the outside, yet my inner self is losing identity. I was conscious not to go out of the house without make-up because I was not confident. I strived hard to do well in school even if the choice of degree is not what I wanted. When I started working, I would spend a good chunk of my salary on clothes, to the point that sometimes I don’t have enough to pay for my rent. I thought this was normal. I knew I had values and morals that I stand for but not sure what they are at the same time. I put too much importance on others’ opinions that I didn’t really know what I want in life. Little did I realize that I was putting up a show to please others, and in return, I had low self-worth.

So, what is SELF-WORTH? PositivePsychology.com defines self-worth as how you value yourself, and Merriam-Webster describes it further as a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect.

And how do we get to the point that we realize that we need to be treated with more respect? How do we recognize that there is a lot of good in us?

My journey to self-worth realization has been long. I didn’t have a mentor who would’ve guided me through a more strategic and faster route. Because of low self-worth, I have been through verbally abusive relationships. I was easily deceived and would often just turn my back even if I know I’ve been disrespected. I had no clear goals and would drown my feeling of inadequacy in alcohol and shallow relationships. Good thing I didn’t turn out to be an alcoholic.

It took me several challenges and struggles in life to realize that I’m worthy – I’m worthy of love, I’m worthy of care, I’m worthy of compassion, I’m worthy of time, I’m worthy of attention, I’m worthy of praise, I’m worthy of respect. I also realized that I should start giving these values, care, and love to myself to receive these. Each struggle that I survived has given me lessons to ponder and master.

Eventually, I discovered that I’m brave. I’m inherently kind and compassionate. I found my strengths and learned how to control my weaknesses. I started loving myself and taking care of it. I know that I must fill my cup first so that I’m able to give love, compassion, care, respect, kindness, honesty, and joy to others.

I knew then that I’m starting to give more value to myself. And I’m on my way to recovery. Then, I had my daughter. The love and joy she brought added to my self-esteem and my self-worth.

The moment I started to have better self-worth, I became more productive at work. I embrace each morning with joy and anticipation. I’m not easily side-tracked by problems and hardships because I know what I’m capable of. I became resilient and brave. I learned to have self-control and allow no one to steal my joy and peace. I started attracting opportunities and people who share the same values and dreams. I became more confident. I gained more wisdom.

My self-worth is now grounded on a solid foundation.

My journey to a higher Self-Worth taught me these:

1. ALLOW YOUR PAST TO BE YOUR TEACHER. I cherished the lessons I’ve learned from my past, including from the mistakes I’ve made. I used the learnings to remind me not to make the same mistake twice (or sometimes thrice!). Some people don’t progress because they prefer to be stuck in the past and let their mistakes take control until they lose the desire to value themselves. “Embrace your past. It’s your greatest teacher. When you learn and apply those lessons, then it no longer defines your future.” (Sarah Centrella)

2. LEARN TO FORGIVE AND LOVE YOURSELF. We are our best friend and our worst critic. How many times have we bashed ourselves for the mistakes we have made? For us to move on, we must learn to forgive ourselves. Truly forgive ourselves. Loving ourselves is not selfish. We start to fill our empty cup with better attitudes, better behaviours, good values, and morals. When our cup is filled and overflowing, we can share these with others to make their lives better. Selfishness is actually a fruit of not loving ourselves – when our cup is empty, we are incapable of giving wholeheartedly, and we do a disservice to the people around us.

3. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF BEFORE YOU ENTERTAIN PEOPLE’S PERCEPTION OF YOU. How many times have you encountered family or friends doubting your capabilities? How many times have you allowed their doubts to eat your confidence? In the past, I allowed detractors to get the best of me until my enthusiasm diminished. I consciously made a choice to put a stop to this behaviour. I chose to honour myself and believe in my worth. The moment that I knew I have faith in myself, no matter what others say to me to put my spirit down, they don’t win at all. When people see that they can’t take advantage of you and realize your worth, they begin to give you the respect you deserve.

A coach can be your guide towards the journey to higher self-worth. Let me show you how. You can connect with me by sending me an email at info@coachedbyjoy.com or send me a message via my FB and Instagram pages, Coached By Joy.

A coach is your strategist. A coach is your ally. A coach is committed to your success.

FROM WORST TO BEST

September 2, 2020 1 Comment

Grande Americano with milk and sweetener. Just perfect. There’s something about coffee that calms my soul. I’m sitting across my sales director in Starbucks, early morning in February , discussing the plans for the day and my business plan for the year.

It’s not a very uplifting meeting. Thank God for my coffee.

I ended 2019 at the bottom of the ladder in terms of sales performance – 10^th place out of 10 sales specialists in the country! Hah! I remember not bothering to look at the monthly sales performances last year because I’m confident that I maintain that position. I have been working hard and travelling so much. And still, my sales are flat – flatter than my chest. Surely, there are factors that are out of my control, but it still baffles me whether I lack skills to make a difference or whether I’m not just that good enough.

Have you been in that situation where you felt you have given your all, but the results are still not in your favor? How did you feel?

I felt insecure. I felt upset. I felt inadequate. I felt depressed.

My director then asked me what’s my goal for the year 2020? I bravely answered him that I will make it to the top and win the Circle of Excellence Award (the award given to the top performer in our company). I bet he almost spit out his coffee! He maintained his composure and politely brushed aside my answer, bringing me back to “reality” and steering the conversation towards a more “realistic” goal.

That day spent with him ended in near disaster. Because of my insecurities, I was very self-conscious at all our customer meetings. In the end, he gave a feedback that I don’t measure up to the expectations of my role. I was heartbroken. And I started doubting myself. Twenty plus years in the pharmaceutical sales industry… and I’m told that I’m below average. It crushed me.

But I need to make a choice – to let those words crush my spirit or to rise and prove to myself that I’m capable of excellence. And knowing myself, I always choose to be victorious.

I worked harder than before. Reinforced my knowledge by learning from peers and read as much as I can. Worked with my coach to figure out how I can be mentally and emotionally tough through this storm. Even with Covid19 threatening to quash my progress, I continued to focus on improving. I became more innovative and confident.

And I never let go of my vision of winning the Circle of Excellence Award. Envisioning myself going up the stage, holding the trophy and giving my speech.

Fast forward to June, sales results for May are out.

I see my name – Joy Tajanlangit, NUMBER ONE in sales performance, 107% year to date!

I am speechless! I am deeply grateful that all my hard work has been rewarded. But maybe it’s just a fluke??

The following month’s sales performance again showed me at the top! This time proving that it’s not a fluke at all – 109% with a 46% sales growth over last year!

From tenth place to NUMBER ONE in the whole country! From worst to BEST in 5 months!

I got my mojo back. I have regained my confidence and belief in my capabilities. I am more engaged at work and motivated to contribute more to my team and my company. Best of all, I’m happy at work.

And through this storm, there are 3 significant things I learned that I want to share with you, hoping that you will use these when you’re in a similar situation:

1. REFLECT INWARDLY. I looked within me where the gaps are and where I can improve. I acknowledged my weaknesses and my strengths. It’s always difficult to control what’s going on in our environment but if we can start looking within ourselves and identifying the areas we can control, then start working to improve on those areas, we feel less overwhelmed and more focused. The solutions become clearer.

2. HOLD ON TIGHT TO YOUR VISION. For some time, I was depressed and not happy at work. My insecurities got a hold of me, temporarily. But despite that, I never let go of my vision. I’m still going up that stage, holding the trophy, feeling its weight between my hands, giving a gratitude speech in front of my colleagues. The famous Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve”. And as an executive and leadership coach, this is one of the principles I teach my clients. If we want to change our life story, we first must change how we think and what we think. If you want your life story to have a better ending, envision it, and believe it will happen. Our minds hold immense power that should never be underestimated. How we choose to live every day depends on what we cultivate in our minds.

3. FORGET THE EGO AND SEEK HELP. From my colleagues to my life coach, they have been great resources for my growth. They have helped me get out of the rut. They have shared with me knowledge and skills that reinforced my own abilities. Sometimes, we are scared to seek help for the fear of being perceived as incapable or fear of being rejected. But until we set aside our egos and intentionally seek help from others, it is then we realize that those fears are just in our minds. You will be surprised that there are genuine people willing help and see you prosper.

Coaching has worked for me to reach the top and it could also work for you. Let me show you how. You can connect with me by sending me an email at info@coachedbyjoy.com or send me a message via my FB and Instagram pages, Coached By Joy.

A coach is your strategist. A coach is your ally. A coach is committed to your success.

MY FIRST BLOG

August 27, 2020 No Comments

I can hear my coach tell me “TELL YOUR STORY”.

But how should I start? I’ve got a lot of stories to tell. Excitement starts to mount. Ideas came into my mind. And so, did fear.

What if my story is not compelling enough?

What if I don’t structure it well?

What if the audience don’t like it?

What if my grammar is not right?

Then these fears and doubts led me to procrastination. Procrastination led me to accomplishing nothing. And lack of accomplishment led me to realize that it’s not only me that I’m doing a disservice but also the people that can be inspired and motivated as a result of my work.

My last session with my coach, he advised me to make a schedule that will create a concrete picture of what I will be doing to push my coaching business into newer heights. I created a calendar and printed it off and now it’s on wall facing me as I’m writing this blog. The sight of it reinforces my commitment.

From this day forward, you will be seeing more from Coached By Joy. This is a restart of the same journey I started to embark a few months ago. Just like a road trip, we pause occasionally to rest, to eat, to stretch, to use the washrooms, to breathe some fresh air, to fuel up. And once we feel re-energized and ready, we continue the journey to reach our ultimate destination. I have taken a break, sought some inspiration, sought some advice, changed my mindset and now I’m doing another leg of this journey.

Along the way,

My hope is that I will develop a better and stronger mindset.

My hope is that I will develop new habits and attitudes that will propel me towards my vision.

My hope is that my fears will slowly fade and disappear.

My hope is that my stories will start to flow.

My hope is that I will inspire others to be better and to live life to the fullest.